I ran across some fascinating research by George Barna in partnership with Living on the Edge the other day. Check it out. The answers given by believers and pastors across America clearly show that American Evangelicals do not know what spiritual maturity is, nor how to achieve it. 81% of respondents endorsed the idea that spiritual health means “trying hard to follow the rules described in the Bible.” Further down the page the study reported that “Half of churchgoers simply said they were not sure, unable to venture a guess regarding their church’s definition” of spiritual maturity. If answers were ventured, most identified, at best, maturity as a relationship with Jesus. Even pastors often favored activities over attitudes as marks of maturity.
Okay, you can read the report, released in May 2009. Why the confusion, ambiguity, and general ignorance? The answer is as simple as it is sweeping. We as American Christians have allowed the pervasive individualism of our culture to strip us of any understanding of the role of accountable relationships in forming Christian character and conduct. Let me ask some questions to illustrate what we have lost:
- Does your church require you to be in an accountability group in order to teach or to serve on the governing board? (the Wesleys understood this in the 18th century)
- Does your pastor have accountability partners that watch over his or her attitudes, conduct, and lifestyle? (English Congregationalists did this is the 17th century)
- How many friends do you have that regularly ask you questions about your personal walk with Christ? (Billy Graham surrounded himself with this sort of staff in the 1950’s)
- How many young people are you mentoring by spending time with them, encouraging them, and challenging unbiblical attitudes and choices in their lives? (Did an adult disciple you in this way?)
If your answers are “No,” “No,” “Zero,” “Zero,” you are part of the 95% of American Christians who do not understand (because you have never been told) that the Holy Spirit works through fellow believers to spur us to grow up to look and act like Jesus. Let me say this in another way. We are human beings. Human beings gain their identity and their understanding of themselves from what significant people in their lives tell them. We are molded by our parents, our siblings, our teachers, our friends (from high school on), our spouses. What they tell us we are like creates our understanding of ourselves. God created us this way—he created us a family. We are social beings dependent on others for most of our sense of identity.
This is why God created and continues to energize his church through the Holy Spirit. God does speak to us directly, but most of what he wants us to understand comes to us through others. He speaks to us through the Bible, but much that we learn there is conditioned by sermons, classes, and books we have heard or read. Our values are formed by our up-bringing, by persons who have challenged us, disciplined us, taught us, punished us, and modeled their values in front of us.
This blog is called FormativeFriendships.org for a reason. It is devoted to helping the church recapture a Biblical understanding of the power of relationships, and find the courage to actually create Biblical friendships that will change the way we think about ourselves, our world, and our responsibilities. Keep reading. Share how you have been molded by Christian friendships. E-mail me your story from the Contact Me page.
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